A Natural Family

Well folks, my son turns one in a matter of hours. He is sleeping like the little angel he is, and I am reflecting on the past year of my life that he has been in existence and the past seven months that he has been physically with me. What an incredible time. There really are not words for the massive amounts of emotion that have taken over my body. I honestly have the most perfect kid on the face of the earth. I love being around him. I love who I am when I am with him, and I love watching my partner when he is with him. I have a 25lb brick of love... yes, a love brick, living and breathing, crawling circles around me.

I still mourn the loss of this year for Ayelech. She is constantly on my mind. I wonder what she would say about him, how she would love him, the songs she would hum when putting him to sleep, and the laugh she would bellow when he splashes his cuteness. I have her name permanently etched on my body. She is always with me.

We've gone from This:

To This:
I cannot fully express the amount of support and love I have received from the readers of this blog. I have posted my ups and downs over the past couple of years. From waiting to travel to life with baby--I've put it out there, and you've listened and responded. Thank you.

For now, though, I have decided to take a blog hiatus for an undetermined length of time. I have struggled with becoming a mommy blogger which in and of itself isn't bad, but just isn't what I set out to do or actually need from my writing outlet here. My current passions revolve around some social justice topics that are difficult for some people close to me to hear me talk about and I, frankly, am tired of feeling censored here. So, I am taking that as my cue to take a break. Who knows... maybe I'll come back anonymously or privately...

If you'd still like to keep up with us through photos and videos, please email me and (if I actually know you) I'll give you the link to our .Mac site where we upload that stuff.

Thanks again.

Love,
K

My current thoughts:

1. Is Em ready to go down to one nap? It takes longer to put him down, he does still seem tired, but he remains in pretty good spirits either way...

2. Why is Ken Starr trying to forcibly legally divorce the same sex couples who were married in California? I mean, we are talking 18,000 people here (or marriages, I forget)--but more than that we are talking about a whole lot of families. Not just grown ups making decisions, but kids who have to watch their grown ups be sad that something important has been taken away. Why do we always think about the kids last? This is not, to me, very Christianly.

3. I am settling in on the idea that there won't be a job for J this year in academia. And that it isn't personal--has nothing to do with his abilities as a teacher or scholar... We counted it up. There were half as many postings in his field this year as last year. At least 10-15% of those schools have since posted 'failed searches' due to hiring freezes and economic concerns. A good percentage of the total number of jobs did not even apply to what Justin studies anyway. Plus, a lot of people we know are putting out new people this year. So, it'd be good to stick around and meet them. Also, J's lucky enough to already have adjunct stuff lined up for next year anyway. Meh...

4. One party down, one to go. C & L's baby shower was yesterday and I think it went well. Everyone ate the food, laughed at the 'game,' and C & L got a lot of good loot. (including this machine that steams and blends foods... all in one... ahhh, if i'd only had that when i was making baby food...) Em's b-day party is Saturday, this week. Wow. I need to start thinking about how that's going to go.

my utility bill just came. $590. do i have that? yes. do i want to spend it on my utility bill? no.

my son ate an entire little tiropita (cheese pie with feta) and he is spitting up... in various places around the house. it is stinky.

i am gaining back my salmonella weight. it makes me feel weird. i don't like it.

i am tired of there always being laundry and dishes. i don't even do the dishes.

my son is constantly tired.

tomorrow is work and snow is forecasted. yuck.

chuck is in 3D tonight. i got my glasses. Yay!