Extending Expectations
9:09 PM Posted In timeline , waiting Edit This 4 Comments »
I feel a little bit like this picture... blurry.
Our agency hasn't received many new infant referrals over the past two months. Translation: We may be waiting longer than the projected 10-12 months for our baby. They have gotten a flood of toddlers into Horizon House, but only a trickle of infants. The agency has no control over the age of children that happen to be placed with them. Their only interest (appropriately!) is to find parents for the children who end up in their care.
I have to trust that this is the way things should be for us. We have tossed around switching agencies, but, in the end, I feel like we have to go with what is given to us with the agency we signed up with. Somehow I know that the universe will bring us together with the child that needs us and also know that that bringing together is not always on my schedule...
However, a longer wait time does bring up other questions for our family... how will this affect the job search? what if a job for J comes up prior to us re-adopting in NJ? what happens to the fees we've paid if we need to do post-placement visits with a social worker in another state? will we have to go through the whole immigration fingerprinting thing again (as they expire after 12 months)? AND... how will I pass the extra time?
So, Prayers that the timeline thing works out... Belief that this is a preparation time that is important... and Assurance that babyburton will be worth it all!
4 comments:
Kathryn and Justin,
I've been reading positive information about the Ethiopian program on several adoption web sites. I think you are in an overall stable program with a good reputation. Take heart in that knowledge if the wait does lengthen. You made the best decision, based on your research and prayerful consideration, that you could at the time. I have to remind myself of that each month that passes. I don't expect you'll face the serious slowdown the China program is facing, but any wait beyond what you expected to see the face of your child is tough. Cling to the fact that His timing is always perfect. This was the third Mother's Day I've spent since we decided to go to China that I've had empty arms...but I praise God through the tears that there is hope. You will grow with the wait and develop patience that you never thought you could achieve. I believe it will all work together to make us better parents, better Christians. Our travel petitions and fingerprints all expired, and we survived the time and expense to renew them. You will too if it comes to that. It's a glimpse of how our priorities will change from ourselves to our children. You just do what it takes. The energy and patience comes from that wonderful anticipation. Sorry to be so long, but, hey, I've got time on my hands waiting. It does my heart good to follow your journey and encourage you in anyway I can. This wait I understand. You are in my prayers.
Karen Lykins
Kathryn, this is so frustrating! I am very sorry. We'll definitely keep you in our prayers. I hate waiting; I'm very impatient so I can understand your stress. I'm sure it will all work out in the end. xo
I agree - the wait is the hardest part, and it really sucks when it gets extended (our timeline tripled for us!). Stay with WHFC - you will not regret it. The wait, no matter how long, is worth it in the end, and when you hold your child for the first time, the long wait will be forgotten. Remember, you have a lifetime ahead of you with him or her....this time is just a blip on the map.
Always here to talk, tho, if you want...
Karen,
You are one incredible woman for making it through THREE mothers days. Thanks for the support and prayers. Know that J and I will include you in our prayers too. Your perfect one will come :) and some day our children will meet and we smile sweetly with tears in our eyes as we look on.
K
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