Myths and Realities
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by Linda A. Grillo (published in Adoptive Families Together, 1997)
Myth Adoptive children are chosen.
Reality Adoptive parents are 'chosen.'
Myth All you need is love.
Reality Parents need to educate and advocate.
Myth Adoptive families are the same.
Reality Adoptive families must accomodate an entirely different family within our own. We must face bias and misunderstanding in many areas: school, medicine, law, and community.
Myth Life begins at adoption.
Reality Knowledge of past history is necessary to complete identity.
Myth Adoptive parents are saints. Adoptive parents are infertile.
Reality Each is different.
Myth Birthparents are sinners. Birthparents are irresponsible.
Reality Each is different.
Myth Children adopted in infancy do not think about their birthparents.
Reality Most of them do, even if they don't talk about it.
Myth Laws that keep information protect those involved... for their own good.
Reality Laws are often made with no understanding of needs. Each person has a right to his/her personal history.
Myth Birthmothers forget. Birthmothers really do not care about their children.
Reality Most never forget. Most care for and love their children.
Myth All/No adoptee should search.
Reality All should have the right to choose.
Reality: Adoption is a lifelong process for all involved.
I shall leave you with a classic Kathryn face. This face could sum up about how I feel about waiting until next Spring for a referral :)
Myth Adoptive children are chosen.
Reality Adoptive parents are 'chosen.'
Myth All you need is love.
Reality Parents need to educate and advocate.
Myth Adoptive families are the same.
Reality Adoptive families must accomodate an entirely different family within our own. We must face bias and misunderstanding in many areas: school, medicine, law, and community.
Myth Life begins at adoption.
Reality Knowledge of past history is necessary to complete identity.
Myth Adoptive parents are saints. Adoptive parents are infertile.
Reality Each is different.
Myth Birthparents are sinners. Birthparents are irresponsible.
Reality Each is different.
Myth Children adopted in infancy do not think about their birthparents.
Reality Most of them do, even if they don't talk about it.
Myth Laws that keep information protect those involved... for their own good.
Reality Laws are often made with no understanding of needs. Each person has a right to his/her personal history.
Myth Birthmothers forget. Birthmothers really do not care about their children.
Reality Most never forget. Most care for and love their children.
Myth All/No adoptee should search.
Reality All should have the right to choose.
Reality: Adoption is a lifelong process for all involved.I shall leave you with a classic Kathryn face. This face could sum up about how I feel about waiting until next Spring for a referral :)
4 comments:
Amen Sister!
Awesome!
I have and have had many children in my class who are adopted and I know they are specially chosen and they do think and talk about their birth parents. Some are open adoptions and some are not as open, but they all wonder and at the age of my students that wondering is beginning. The healthiest child I have witnessed is one who is in an open family where they talk and pray about her adoption/ birth family and love the child deeply- a chosen child. It is interesting how they all respond differently to their adoption experience.
--Hey that face looks like mine!!!
hugs to you! I am so thankful God gave you to me! Love, gma cc
i love the pic
~amy
I'm so sorry you might be waiting 'til spring! I can't believe how long they can drag out giving a child who needs a home...a home...makes no sense to me! and I have to agree with your mom...you do look like her in that picture...
fabulous!!!
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