A Natural Family

I recently finished a book called "Beneath a Tall Tree" by Jean Strauss. It is Jean's memoir about her search for her birth mother. In the process of searching, she found out that her birth mother was also adopted. After they were reunited, she and her birth mother searched for (and found) her birth mother! Wow.

Thinking about our future child's birth parents has been a big part of our adoption process. We started talking about them in our homestudy, and have continued to think about their situation and pray for them since then. We do focus on the joy that adoption will bring to our lives, but continue to be mindful of the loss that the adoption means for someone else. There is a woman in Ethiopia who is carrying a baby that will eventually come to the U.S. to live with Justin and me. This woman is most likely facing hardships that I have no concept of. She is debating making an adoption plan for her child--a decision that must weigh heavily on her.

We will get the privilege of meeting members of our child's birth family when we travel. I am still thinking of ways to emotionally prepare for that meeting.

I do feel strongly that I want to be supportive of our child if he or she decides to search for his/her birth parents. There is so much about myself that I define and think of in terms of my biological parents--our genetics, our family tree, our family's patterns of behavior. I know that these concepts will be different for my child. I think this is why, unlike some other adoptive parents, I feel that I will be able to handle the search. I might even have to hold myself back from being too encouraging...

I'd recommend the book. It is a quick read--but gets good thoughts flowing.

Justin and I are going to be the crazy people in the scenario...! (Not Madonna or Angelina Jolie... also did you hear Queen Latifah wants to adopt??)(We do not actually think they are crazy either, but applaud their efforts at bringing attention to the needs of children in the world. And, by all accounts, being pretty good parents.)

It really just bothers us... gets under our skin... that there are kids with no parents. That is really at the heart of it. Plus, we have so much love to give. So, why keep it to ourselves? I am not sure how far we will ride on the wave of 'there are so many kids without parents,' but there may or may not be more adopted kids in our future.

Why not adopt from the U.S.?

Because of my work, I don't have a very trusting view of the 'system' that puts kids up for adoption in the U.S. I don't trust them to give me the necessary background information so that Justin and I would be able to adequately prepare for the child's needs. And, private adoption in the U.S. is out of our current budget. ALSO, and this reason is probably the bigger of the two for not adopting from the U.S. right now: Kids in the U.S., even the large majority of kids in fostercare, have access to resources (food, water, school) that an orphan child in Ethiopia would never have access to. So, we are going with the place where we feel like there is the most need right now.

Why Ethiopia?

From the minute we heard that it was an option we were drawn to Ethiopia. The country's history and people were something we were interested in learning about. Also, the program costs and requirements best fit our family. Some countries we are actually not old enough to adopt from. We are about to enter a transitioning phase of life (even without a baby) when Justin finishes grad school, so we needed to adopt from a place that fit in the right time frame.

Questions? Thoughts?
(I am moderating comments... so don't worry if your comment doesn't show up right away. I check my email compulsively. Your comment will be up soon!)

Justin participated in a conference call yesterday. These call-in sessions are held every two weeks by the Ethiopia Program staff at our agency. Anyone on the waiting list can call in and get up-to-date information about the program and... the waiting list. As of yesterday, people who were put on the waiting list May, 2006 are now getting their referrals. The program staff said that referral wait times are holding steady at about 10 months. This means that if things stay as they are now (which we won't hold our breath for :)) we could have a referral in November. But, as always, they told us to still plan on 12 months... mid-January 2008.

Hello to all of our friends and family. Justin and I are in the second month of waiting for our referral for a baby to adopt from Ethiopia. We started this process last year (around May), completed our homestudy in October, and received CIS approval in January. We have been on the official waiting list since January 16, 2007. Our agency, Wide Horizons for Children, has told us that the wait time will be 10 to 12 months.

My plans for this blog include the following: First, this will give me a way to update you on any news we receive about our referral or adoption process. Second, I hope it will keep you informed about adoption information we are ingesting (including book reviews and adoption in the media). Third, this blog will give me a forum to air my thoughts about impending motherhood and hopefully receive support during this long waiting process.