A Natural Family

I guess sometimes I just don't feel like writing. This space between now and when school ended has been filled with work, social events, and laziness... As many of you know I am quite the connoisseur of lazy. I consider it an art form that requires discipline and practice. The ability to say, 'I will not clean the bathroom now,' or 'We will eat out again today,' does not just come naturally. (okay, well it might come kind of naturally... :)) Plus, one must have the right gear--a comfy couch, old lounge-ish pants, a good movie or book. AND, all of this (attitude and gear) must align at the right time in order for pure laziness to commence.

So, I think the lazy period is coming to a close and the 'back to work' period is on the rise. This weekend involved cleaning the house, emptying the fish tank (yes, our dear Lamont passed on), as well as visiting friends. I have grand plans to get back to the library in July and work on my paper.

Also, the whole family is coming in August (even gma suzie) to play with Justin and me.

On the baby front: Referrals are still coming slowly to our agency. I am pretty content with the thought that we won't know anything until next Spring. I am beginning to give myself permission to feel like I really do have a baby on the way. I make sure to walk through the baby aisles whenever we are at the store and think about what our baby might need. I might even get back to working on the quilt... Once this baby comes, we will have him or her for the rest of our lives. So, why not enjoy these last several months just the two of us?

I feel a little bit like this picture... blurry.

Our agency hasn't received many new infant referrals over the past two months. Translation: We may be waiting longer than the projected 10-12 months for our baby. They have gotten a flood of toddlers into Horizon House, but only a trickle of infants. The agency has no control over the age of children that happen to be placed with them. Their only interest (appropriately!) is to find parents for the children who end up in their care.

I have to trust that this is the way things should be for us. We have tossed around switching agencies, but, in the end, I feel like we have to go with what is given to us with the agency we signed up with. Somehow I know that the universe will bring us together with the child that needs us and also know that that bringing together is not always on my schedule...

However, a longer wait time does bring up other questions for our family... how will this affect the job search? what if a job for J comes up prior to us re-adopting in NJ? what happens to the fees we've paid if we need to do post-placement visits with a social worker in another state? will we have to go through the whole immigration fingerprinting thing again (as they expire after 12 months)? AND... how will I pass the extra time?

So, Prayers that the timeline thing works out... Belief that this is a preparation time that is important... and Assurance that babyburton will be worth it all!

As many of you already know, we have requested to adopt an 'infant.' In the world of international adoption, infant is defined as 0-12 months of age. We requested this age because we want to be part of all of the firsts that our child will go through. We also knew that after this age, language and communication would become more and more of an issue.

Also, it is important to note that the baby will be between 0 to 12 months of age at the time of REFERRAL, not necessarily at the time we go to pick him or her up! There is usually 6 to 10 weeks that passes between when you get the referral and when you travel to pick up the baby. So, the real age range that is probable for our baby when we get him or her home is 4.5 months to 13 months.

I have recently been thinking about how our day to day lives will change once the baby is here. Some days I think I am definitely not ready!! Other days, I look forward to being able to cook for three instead of two, watching our child learn and grow, and getting to experience this new chapter with J. I do have an, probably idealistic, idea about how we will still do all the same things we do now like host weekly parties based around a TV show, take quick weekend trips, and catch a train to NYC without a plan! Basically, I don't want the baby to make us... old... :)

Lucky for us, we know that no matter what age our child is when he or she comes into our family, he or she already has a family and friends waiting. Grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles will all be around to support us through this transition.

On another subject: I have decided to write my master's thesis on Racial Development in Transracially Adopted Children... My advisor even approved it!

Justin participated in a conference call yesterday. These call-in sessions are held every two weeks by the Ethiopia Program staff at our agency. Anyone on the waiting list can call in and get up-to-date information about the program and... the waiting list. As of yesterday, people who were put on the waiting list May, 2006 are now getting their referrals. The program staff said that referral wait times are holding steady at about 10 months. This means that if things stay as they are now (which we won't hold our breath for :)) we could have a referral in November. But, as always, they told us to still plan on 12 months... mid-January 2008.