Long time, no post.

12:19 PM Posted In Edit This 2 Comments »


Sorry long-time, no post. I am posting a couple of pictures from Thanksgiving. We saw my family for a couple of hours and managed to only take pictures during that time, so... The top one is my dad, brother, and great aunt and uncle. The bottom one is of three of my favorite boys.



Not much news on the adoption front. The referrals are coming which is good. But there seemed to be such a back log from the courts being closed and the Ethiopian holidays, that our wait time will still be significantly extended.

Just to remind you, here are the reasons why the wait time will probably be around 16 months:

1. More and more agencies are being approved to work in Ethiopia. So, as kids become available for adoption, there are more agencies for them to go to which reduces the amount of placements that each individual agency gets... longer wait time.

2. The courts were closed from August through September in to October this year. It was a little bit extra long due to the Ethiopian Millenium celebrations. All the kids who were matched with families prior to that time had to wait until the courts re-opened for the adoptions to be finalized. The courts are just now catching up on processing all of the kids that were referred in September of this year. So, this has caused a longer wait time.

3. We requested an infant. There are fewer referrals for infants which really makes sense if you think about it. Families often try to make it work after having a new baby. Sometimes it isn't until later that their resources run out or they decide that they don't have enough stuff to properly take care of this new family member. Then kids often spend time with other extended family before eventually becoming available for adoption. If we were to have requested a toddler, our wait time would have only been 5 or 6 months!

So, maybe we'll get a summer trip to Ethiopia!!?? It will be wonderful whenever it comes.

In the meantime, I have a masters thesis to finish up. J has a dissertation to write. We have planned a trip to Michigan over Christmas to see some of my lovely cousins and aunts and uncles, as well as my parents and brothers. We'll celebrate our 5th anniversary in January. Travel to California in February, and Searcy in May for Ross's graduation. Busy!

Happy Holidays to all! Hopefully, I'll be back in the blog-posting spirit soon.

downward

2:50 PM Posted In Edit This
yes, this week was one downward spiral after another. nothing was good. i am just getting really fed up. no offense, but if one more person tells me about 'gods timing' or how perfect this will all be when it is over, i cannot be responsible for my actions. i am living TODAY not in gods timing. not when things are over and all perfect.

i am tired of smiling and making nice. i am tired of censoring my words and thoughts. i am tired of being rational and logical. i am just plain tired.

controversy is sometimes good. i am in a state of provoking controversy. all day i work for someone else. i help other people through their crazy times. i don't want to do it anymore. i want to be the crazy one.

so leave me alone. that is how i feel.

there are no comments allowed for this post. don't email me about it either.

btw, wait time is officially 14 + months from date of acceptance into the program.

Honestly,

5:28 PM Posted In Edit This 10 Comments »

Honestly, today I am sad. I am sad that I am not pregnant. I am sad that the one thing that is supposed to be so natural was not/is not natural for me. I am sad that I do not know the sex of my baby. I am sad that he or she is thousands upon thousands of miles away from me. I am sad that it will be months upon months before we meet. I am also very sad that I am impatient, that sometimes I do not trust that it will all work out. I am sad that I will have to celebrate more holidays without Baby B. I am sad that J does not get to share this football season with his Baby B. I am mad that I am sad.

Shh... Don't tell!

4:02 PM Posted In Edit This 2 Comments »
My mom bought these as part of J's birthday present...

Which gave me license to buy these...

I don't know how kosher it is to start buying clothes for a child that you have never met, don't know the exact age or gender of, and are not sure when you will become his or her parent, but I have to start 'expecting' a baby some time... So, why not now?

J's Birthday: Celebrated.

10:31 PM Posted In , Edit This 3 Comments »

This weekend, we celebrated J's birthday by embracing our childlessness and venturing into the city for hang-out time with friends and a baseball game. (Note: J's birthday isn't until August, but the Reds and Mets didn't want to change their schedule just to fit in with our birthday plans, so the celebration had to take place early.) Fourteen of our baseball-loving friends and family joined us for Czech food and fun at Bohemian Hall and the Mets vs. Reds at Shea Stadium. Even though the Reds didn't pull out a victory, we still had a great time. As I've thought to myself at all of our big events this year, maybe this time next year the baby will be here... :) But, I must admit, I only thought that for a minute yesterday. There wasn't much time for dwelling on adoption issues or even envisioning what it might be like to deal with a tired child during an evening baseball game. (smile.)

Yes, that is a large Kielbasa and rye bread. Mmm, Czech delicacies.


J keeps score. This year he got himself a score keeping book and has charted all of the games that he has been to during the summer. We might have made fun of him for being a nerd, but I secretly think it's kind of cool.

Thanks to all of the friends who attended, facilitated, and had a good time.

In real news: Happy birthday to our friend (and current roommate):
S. B. (eaux). Glad to know you and hope it is a great year.

White Beaches

3:58 PM Posted In , , Edit This 6 Comments »





Last week, we went to Florida to see my grandparents. My granddad had multiple by-pass surgery two weeks ago and has had a difficult time recovering. He is still on the ventilator (after a week) which is a bit scary, and has been sedated because of this. The doctors say that his surgery was successful, but his lungs haven't been cooperating since the surgery. Thanks to all of you who wrote me encouraging emails when we left in a whirlwind to go down to see him and support my grandmother. Granddad is stable, but not out of the woods. My parents are coming home from teaching in Greece to help my grandmother and be with my granddad as he continues to recover and begin the rehabilitation process. (He's been laying in a hospital bed w/o moving for over a week, so the rehab will be intensive.)



While we were in Florida, we did get to spend a couple of hours on the beaches of the beautiful Anna Maria Island (just outside of Bradenton). I have always loved this beach. The water is clear and blue; the sand is snow white and crunches under your feet. However, this time, I noticed that all the people on the beach there are white! I think I saw maybe one Latina woman with her child. Otherwise, white, white, and more white. I guess this is just the beginning of my racial awareness. When we go to visit (which we will!), our child will likely be the only person of color on the beach. At what point will he or she notice?

In other news: We are going to a Mets/Reds baseball game this weekend for Justin's birthday. 14 of our friends are coming, too! This should be a blast!



Gramma Carol has been buying and looking at baby stuff all over Greece and Egypt. I know for a fact that Baby Burton already has a shirt that says, "My gramma went to Greece, and all I got was this shirt." (or something to that effect:))

Sorry for the absence.

2:50 PM Posted In , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
I guess sometimes I just don't feel like writing. This space between now and when school ended has been filled with work, social events, and laziness... As many of you know I am quite the connoisseur of lazy. I consider it an art form that requires discipline and practice. The ability to say, 'I will not clean the bathroom now,' or 'We will eat out again today,' does not just come naturally. (okay, well it might come kind of naturally... :)) Plus, one must have the right gear--a comfy couch, old lounge-ish pants, a good movie or book. AND, all of this (attitude and gear) must align at the right time in order for pure laziness to commence.

So, I think the lazy period is coming to a close and the 'back to work' period is on the rise. This weekend involved cleaning the house, emptying the fish tank (yes, our dear Lamont passed on), as well as visiting friends. I have grand plans to get back to the library in July and work on my paper.

Also, the whole family is coming in August (even gma suzie) to play with Justin and me.

On the baby front: Referrals are still coming slowly to our agency. I am pretty content with the thought that we won't know anything until next Spring. I am beginning to give myself permission to feel like I really do have a baby on the way. I make sure to walk through the baby aisles whenever we are at the store and think about what our baby might need. I might even get back to working on the quilt... Once this baby comes, we will have him or her for the rest of our lives. So, why not enjoy these last several months just the two of us?

Holding Strong.

10:12 AM Posted In , Edit This 3 Comments »


So, this weekend will be our 5 month waiting anniversary (6/16/07). Here is a little update. (Sorry this post is really nothing cool--no profound thoughts, no big updates. I guess this one is mostly for family or anyone bored enough at work to care to read!)

*Our social worker has assured us that even if we move (due to job opportunities) before the baby arrives, it will not affect our place on the waiting list. We will just have to complete more paperwork.

*Even though I have thought about it, I will not post monthly picutres of my belly. It is not growing (unless we eat a big meal).

*I had a few interesting conversations about the adoption at work this week. I am still working on responding to awkward questions about how much the adoption costs. (Yes, I am much more brave on the blogosphere.) I think pretty much everyone at work knows about the adoption now.

*I have been debating a 'pregnant on paper' or 'adopting' t-shirt. Some days I think they are pretty cool, some days I think they are pretty lame. Maybe if I could make one myself, it would look less lame than the ones I have found online. (The one you see to your right is an example of 'lame.' The one at the top of the post is not as lame, but I definitely wouldn't get it in pink.) What do you guys think?

*A 78 year old woman hit my car with her car (with me in it) at the grocery store parking lot yesterday. It made me feel flustered and anxious, but otherwise did not cause very much damage. She was a very lovely woman who even called me later in the day to see how I was doing. I might like to have coffee with her sometime... after the car gets fixed :)

*I have been thinking a lot about Brooke's journey lately. She is in Ethiopia now getting ready to bring home Sophia. I think they were supposed to have their Embassy appointment on Tuesday.

*There was this interesting article in the NYTimes a couple of days ago about Ethiopian adoptions. Check it out.

*My big project that I have been working on at work won 3rd place in our Performance Improvement Competition! It is pretty cool b/c my little project was competing against big projects run by people who have ph.d's and are doing big research studies.

*The latest news from our agency is that people who are currently getting referrals of infants have waited 12 months. Most likely the earliest we will get news of our baby will be Mid-January.

*We are watching Maren on Friday evening. It should be fun!

Let the Paper Begin!

2:48 PM Posted In , Edit This 4 Comments »


As many of you know, I am supposedly finishing up a masters program in December of this year. In order to graduate, I have to write a masters thesis and have chosen to write it on the development of racial identity in transracially adopted children.

Here are the questions I plan to address: 
1. How do children develop a racial identity?
2. How is this different (or the same) for children who are adopted
transracially?
3. How have adoption laws affected the way we view racial identity
development in adopted children?
4. What can adoptive parents do to foster positive racial identity
development in their transracially adopted children?

What other questions might you guys have about this topic?
Any thoughts or things you have read that have influenced your thinking about race and/or identity?

Extending Expectations

9:09 PM Posted In , Edit This 4 Comments »

I feel a little bit like this picture... blurry.

Our agency hasn't received many new infant referrals over the past two months. Translation: We may be waiting longer than the projected 10-12 months for our baby. They have gotten a flood of toddlers into Horizon House, but only a trickle of infants. The agency has no control over the age of children that happen to be placed with them. Their only interest (appropriately!) is to find parents for the children who end up in their care.

I have to trust that this is the way things should be for us. We have tossed around switching agencies, but, in the end, I feel like we have to go with what is given to us with the agency we signed up with. Somehow I know that the universe will bring us together with the child that needs us and also know that that bringing together is not always on my schedule...

However, a longer wait time does bring up other questions for our family... how will this affect the job search? what if a job for J comes up prior to us re-adopting in NJ? what happens to the fees we've paid if we need to do post-placement visits with a social worker in another state? will we have to go through the whole immigration fingerprinting thing again (as they expire after 12 months)? AND... how will I pass the extra time?

So, Prayers that the timeline thing works out... Belief that this is a preparation time that is important... and Assurance that babyburton will be worth it all!

Guilt.

12:40 PM Posted In Edit This 5 Comments »
Check this post out. This is a pretty good blog, and I have definitely been thinking about the sentiments this blogger posted about.

http://swerl.blogspot.com/2007/04/are-we-guilty.html

it's almost friday... :)

More to Come.

8:40 PM Posted In Edit This 6 Comments »
Hello all. I wanted to let you know that a new post will come shortly... I just have to get my papers for school written. This is exactly why I want to have this degree finished pre-baby!

There are many lurkers reading this blog... if you have been reading, but haven't commented yet... please comment! I would love to know who exactly is out there:)

3 months and counting...

9:52 AM Posted In Edit This 3 Comments »



This is kind of a mile-marker for me. Because our wait time is supposed to be about 12 months, and we have now waited 3 months... it means there are only 9 months left. This is when a person having a biological child would be getting pregnant. She probably wouldn't even know yet.

Music and Meaning...

10:13 PM Posted In Edit This 2 Comments »













As you might have read on J's blog, we spontaneously went into NYC on Monday night to see the last MTO show ever to take place at Tonic in its current Lower East Side location. I had a couple of thoughts related to our upcoming life with baby during our little trip to the city.

First, wow... will we be able to take spontaneous trips like this when we have an adorable little parasite attached to us? It will be difficult, but I really do think that if anyone can, it will be us. I am fully dedicated to being "those parents." (The ones with the baby at musical events, movies, museums, and cool restaurants.) (I know, I know... this brings a whole other debate up about if having kids in these places ruins the experiences for other people, but that is for another time and place...)

The second, and somewhat more profound, thought I had was while we were at the concert. I have often struggled with bringing another human into the world when there are so many horrible things going on. So many people are intolerant. Wars. Poverty. But, as I was listening to some fabulous music, I was struck by the immense amount of beauty and love there is in the world. I became intensely excited to share experiences of these positive attributes of the world with our baby. Everyone around was so happy. We were happy. Isn't that a great thing to pass on?
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