A Natural Family

Last night we were lucky enough to spend some time with some of our close friends who live in Brooklyn. Every now and then, we talk (*guilt?*) them into coming down to lame New Jersey to hang out with us and Em. They make Em giggle like NO other couple can. I don't know what it is about them and him, but we don't hear him belly laugh so much as when they're around.

We went to our favorite Greek restaurant for dinner. The conversation quickly turned to the rapid changes our group of friends is undergoing as everyone... yes pretty much everyone... is pregnant. Not me. Not my friend at dinner. But, pretty much everyone else. Now, it is one thing for one couple in a group of friends to have a baby (like me and J for instance), but it is different for most people to be pregnant and planning for little ones. It makes some people feel distanced. It makes some people feel closer together. It makes some people feel different, and some feel more the same. Moving into a different life stage with friends around you can be comforting or confusing. People who like to do the same things when they are hanging out pre-babies may have drastically different parenting styles or expectations when the babies arrive. How do people navigate it all? I guess it just takes extra work. We're lucky that we have friends with whom we actually want to do the work that is required to maintain worthwhile relationships.

Along with that, has anyone else noticed that there is something special about the first baby that you are close to after you're married? J and I got really close to one particular family not long after we moved here. They were not necessarily in the same stage of life baby-wise as us at the time. They were on their second who was born not long after we were introduced to them. But, man have we ever been very invested in them as a family and we still feel a strong connection to their kids even though they now live on the otherside of the world... I mean country. I think this may be part of what makes our Brooklyn friends special--they have a special connection to Em--the first baby they've loved as a married couple.

I think that it is these particular kinds of relationships that allow us to explore the idea of loving someone intensely who is not legally or biologically related to you. I know it was/is our relationship with our friends' children that solidified our ability to adopt.

The snow has come and gone today. Only half an hour until I am not primary on-call anymore... here's hoping that I get to stay in, warm and cozy in my pj's!