A Natural Family

Hello all! Hope everyone is having a good end of October. Maybe some Halloween festivities? My Gramma is coming to NJ this week to go on a little trip with the hubby and me to Quebec City. J has a musicology conference (yes, a bunch of music nerds getting together to talk stuff I don't know anything about), and while he's doing that, Gma and I will be traipsing around the historic city of Quebec. I hear mon grandmere is brushing up on her French...
I wanted to let you all know that November happens to be National Adoption Month. November 17 is National Adoption Day. While this day was founded to celebrate children being adopted from the U.S. foster care system, I have decided to re-purpose the day (and the month) to celebrate adoptions of all kinds!

Download your own calendar at www.adoptivefamilies.com. (if you click on the link, scroll to the bottom of the page at AF and you'll see where you can download the PDF of the calendar.)

by Linda A. Grillo (published in Adoptive Families Together, 1997)

Myth Adoptive children are chosen.
Reality Adoptive parents are 'chosen.'

Myth All you need is love.
Reality Parents need to educate and advocate.

Myth Adoptive families are the same.
Reality Adoptive families must accomodate an entirely different family within our own. We must face bias and misunderstanding in many areas: school, medicine, law, and community.

Myth Life begins at adoption.
Reality Knowledge of past history is necessary to complete identity.

Myth Adoptive parents are saints. Adoptive parents are infertile.
Reality Each is different.

Myth Birthparents are sinners. Birthparents are irresponsible.
Reality Each is different.

Myth Children adopted in infancy do not think about their birthparents.
Reality Most of them do, even if they don't talk about it.

Myth Laws that keep information protect those involved... for their own good.
Reality Laws are often made with no understanding of needs. Each person has a right to his/her personal history.

Myth Birthmothers forget. Birthmothers really do not care about their children.
Reality Most never forget. Most care for and love their children.

Myth All/No adoptee should search.
Reality All should have the right to choose.

Reality: Adoption is a lifelong process for all involved.

I shall leave you with a classic Kathryn face. This face could sum up about how I feel about waiting until next Spring for a referral :)

First, I wanted to announce that as of Tuesday, we will be in our 9th month! Wow! Time has really flown by. I hope it continues to do so!

Second, I wanted to keep you guys up to date on some news in the world of International Adoptions. Below is an excerpt from an email that I received from Adoptive Families Magazine.

"Guatemalan President Oscar Berger has announced plans to suspend all intercountry adoption with American families on January 1 2008. The Joint Council on International Children's Services strongly opposes such a suspension and asks for your support in their efforts to ensure that all children retain the right to permanency through Intercountry Adoption.

President Berger's plans also call for the suspension of adoptions currently in-process. Such a suspension would be extremely detrimental to the children referred to adoptive parents. If President Berger's plan is actually implemented, up to 5,000 will unnecessarily remain in foster care or orphanages indefinitely.

This situation represents a pending crisis for the adoptive families who have lovingly chosen to provide permanency, safety and love to a child in need and most importantly a crisis for 5,000 children of Guatemala."

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. I really hope that the families who have already been matched will be allowed to bring their babies home!

Also, I wanted to let any of you pre-adoptive parents out there know that you really should be getting Adoptive Families magazine. If you are even THINKING about adopting, this is really a great resource. It is published every other month and runs about $25 per year. It has great articles spanning from pre-adoptive waiting to post-adoptive issues with school and development. It is a great way to stay connected to the adoptive community and feel like you are not the only family out there who has been through this amazing experience.

In September of 2006, we got our first baby-congrats card. Yes, that's right. September 2006. 13 months ago. Friends that don't even live in our state, or close to our state for that matter, sent us a card telling us how excited they were. Since then, they've also sent some 'pamper yourself' cash! How thoughtful is that?

A fellow waiting parent (who's been waiting way longer than us to adopt a baby from China) sent us a cool gift last week. It's a kid sized Cincinnati Reds t-shirt with a poem about how special it will be when we finally get to take Baby B to a Reds game!

Plus, we have nursery furniture, books, as well as tons of other baby gear given to us by friends from church and our community.

It is true: People are cool. Baby B has a lot waiting for him or her!

yes, this week was one downward spiral after another. nothing was good. i am just getting really fed up. no offense, but if one more person tells me about 'gods timing' or how perfect this will all be when it is over, i cannot be responsible for my actions. i am living TODAY not in gods timing. not when things are over and all perfect.

i am tired of smiling and making nice. i am tired of censoring my words and thoughts. i am tired of being rational and logical. i am just plain tired.

controversy is sometimes good. i am in a state of provoking controversy. all day i work for someone else. i help other people through their crazy times. i don't want to do it anymore. i want to be the crazy one.

so leave me alone. that is how i feel.

there are no comments allowed for this post. don't email me about it either.

btw, wait time is officially 14 + months from date of acceptance into the program.